Major part of avoiding premature ejaculation is to breathe fully, deeply, and with great force, throughout the day. Your inhales should feel like they are drawing energy down the front of your body, filling your belly and genital region. Your exhales should feel like they are moving energy from your pelvic floor, up your spine, into your head.
By breathing fully in this circle, down your front and up your spine, your internal energy can flow freely. Your head and genitals don't get clogged or tense with energy. And your urge to ejaculate is diminished.
Sex intensifies the life force in your body. As you become more and more stimulated, your breath quickens and your body begins to writhe with energy, which tends to become focused in the genital region.
Unless you are careful to move this energy with your breath, it will build up in your genitals and cause a pressure that wants to be released through ejaculation.
There is a specific exercise you can perform throughout sex and also during the approach to orgasm. By doing this exercise you will convert the direction of the orgasm, so instead of ejaculating out your penis, you will ejaculate up your spine, experiencing intense bodily bliss and emotional openness, far beyond the quick pleasure and depleted peace following an ejaculative orgasm.
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To practice this exercise, you must learn to consciously contract the muscles of the floor of your pelvis. This area includes your genitals, anus, and perineum, which is the space between your anus and genitals.
This exercise of contracting your pelvic floor feels a lot like you are trying to stop yourself from going to the bathroom. In addition to contracting the floor of your pelvis, practice pulling it upward into your body and toward your spine. This upward pull will actually lift your scrotum slightly up toward your body.
As a single movement, practice contracting and pulling upward the entire floor of your pelvis, including the anus, perineum, and genitals. You can practice this in sets of 15 or 20 contractions, holding them as long as you can. Do several sets like this, 3 or 4 times a day.
Eventually, you will be able to contract and pull up your pelvic floor easily, holding it for as long as you want. This means you have developed the necessary muscular control. Now you can practice the more subtle work of moving the energy up your spine.
At first, it may seem like you are just imagining internal energy moving in your body. But, with practice, you will more easily see or feel this energy moving.
After all, it is the same energy that, during intense sexual stimulation, you have no trouble feeling build up in your genital region, which is then released through ejaculation.
You can feel it building up like water behind a dam, wanting to burst out. Well, the same energy can burst upward. And when it does, you will experience an orgasm far more pleasurable than the brief burst of a typical genital ejaculation, and also far more healing and enlivening.
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While you are having sex, but before you are close to ejaculating, practice contracting your pelvic floor as just discussed. While you con-tract it and pull upward, breathe the energy up your spine. You will have to experiment to determine whether to inhale or to exhale the energy up your spine, although most people find that exhaling up the spine works best.
If you combine the upward contraction of your pelvic floor with breathing up your spine, you should lose just a little bit of your erection as well as the need to ejaculate. As you continue making love, repeat this exercise as often as you need to in order to maintain relaxation and openness.
Even while practicing this technique, you may notice that you occasionally come very close to having an orgasm. At this point, stop moving, apply the upward contraction of your pelvic floor, and breathe the orgasm energy up your spine.
In addition to the upward contraction of your pelvic floor while breathing up the spine, some men find it helpful to clench their fists and teeth while looking upward with their eyes, especially when the urge toward ejaculation is particularly strong.
With practice, however, all the muscular action becomes very subtle and gentle, until the entire exercise is done primarily through your breath, feeling, and intention.
When the energy shoots up your spine, relax and enjoy the colors, feelings, and blisses that will fill your head and rain down through your body.
Once you are proficient at this exercise, you can evoke the same sensations in your partner by feeling into your partner from your heart as the orgasm shoots up your spine. The upward movement of your energy will magnetize the same movement in hers.
These practices will not be successful unless you are able to surrender as love in the midst of sexual embrace. Love is the governor of energy. More and more, you must practice being love in the form of sexual coupling.
Regardless of how tough your day has been, regard less of the burdens you face in your life, sexing should be a time of practicing love. Like meditation or prayer, sex should be a special time of practicing opening your heart and giving love fully, into and through your partner, and in communion with that which you hold most sacred.
If your heart is closed, your energy will be obstructed, and you will never be able to convert your spurt to a lightning bolt of love. If you don't practice love, your sexual energy will be governed by old habits of body and emotion, which are all about the tiny commotion of ejaculation.
So, if you want to expand sexual bliss as fully as possible, remember that your emotional disposition is far more important than the technical exercises themselves. Because each individual is different, you must experiment and discover which techniques, done as exercises of love, work best for you.
With practice, you will easily be able to experience deep non-ejaculatory orgasms that shoot up your body as light, leaving your heart wide open, your energy enlivened, and your body reverberating in bliss. You will be able to make love for as long as you want, and sex will rejuvenate, rather than deplete, your life force.
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In summary, this is what to remember as you experiment and discover which techniques work best for you:
- Rather than fantasizing or entertaining inward sexual imagery of any kind, remain totally present, aware of your own body, breath, and mind, and especially attentive to your partner. Break the masturbatory habit of inward fantasy by consciously practicing sex as a relational play of love with your partner.
- Keep your body and breath relaxed and full. Especially keep the front of your body relaxed, so that your belly is vast and your heart is soft and wide. This will help prevent too much tension from accumulating in any one area.
- Learn to feel into, and then through, your partner, so that your attention is directed beyond your own sensations and even beyond your partner's sensations. Practice feeling outward, without limit, as if you were feeling to infinity. In other words, whatever you are feeling, feel it fully, and then feel through and beyond it, so that sex becomes a constant feeling through and beyond every sensation, rather than focusing on any particular sensation.
- Throughout the day and during the sexual session, practice breathing so that your inhalation moves energy down the front of your body and the exhalation moves energy up your spine. Excessive, chronic thinking or addiction to ejaculation is often a sign that your energy is blocked and you are not yet breathing fully in this circle throughout the day.
- During sex, occasionally practice the upward contraction of the floor of your pelvis while breathing sexual energy up your spine, so it fills your whole body. Especially as you begin to approach orgasm, you can combine the upward
contraction of your pelvic floor with breathing up the spine in order to shoot your orgasm up into your brain, and even out through the top of your head, rather than down and out your genitals. This upward orgasm will then feel like it is gently seeping down through every cell of your body, saturating you with thick open light.
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These techniques will be less than effective unless you practice love during sex. The natural intelligence of love itself acts to circulate energy in the healthiest way possible. These techniques are mostly exercises to counteract years of poor sexual habits, usually initiated during teen age masturbation.
After eliminating the mechanical habit of ejaculation and unobstructing your energy, the force of your heart will very naturally guide your orgasm so it explodes upward, throughout the body and brain, before raining down in a profusion of bliss, which not only rejuvenates you, but dissolves your edges like shadows in the sun.
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Source: A book named "The Way of Superior Man" by David Deida
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